Most homes will have an empty chair this holiday season – a seat that should have been filled by a loved one who, through death or life’s painful complications, is no longer around.
We see you.
You are not alone.
We will each courageously engage the holidays – listen to carols, attend events. Smile. Laugh.
But, in the still, cold quiet of winter nights the memories will haunt you. The ‘what if’s’ will tempt you. Your mistakes, their mistakes, will taunt you with regret.
You are not alone.
Even in that.
Can we make a pact?
Let us agree that our smiles can reflect the beauty of this season while our eyes understand its complications. No judgement. Honesty does not make you a scrooge. We don’t have to pretend to be happy all the time. Rather, your willingness to engage with the hard parts will make the happy parts that much sweeter.
Let us hold hope for each other. Lost years CAN be redeemed.
Let us grant permission to engage with the holidays differently. To find the aspects and events that fit. No guilt. It’s okay to decline an invitation or cancel something last-minute. We understand. Grief doesn’t follow a calendar.
Let us practice acknowledgement of a God who gets us. Who understands the complications we face. Who joins us in celebrating life’s sweet parts and grieving its painful parts.
After all, Jesus expressed ALL the emotions. He experienced relationship loss, challenging family dynamics, betrayal, separation, death of loved ones. He knew what it was like to weep, to rage, to rejoice.
He sees you.
We’re in this together.
Laura
I’d love to hear about your empty chair. Comment here or reach me through www.LauraFrederickMFT.com