Here’s a confession: I’m not much of a dreamer. And here’s what I’ve learned about why: I get easily disappointed if reality doesn’t match up with my expectations.
This time last year some dreaming was happening. We were coming up on a job transition for my husband and we did not know where we were headed next. And in our processing of this reality we allowed ourselves to dream.
For the last two years our family was on a journey- one I wrote about a lot on this blog. We knew God was leading us to NEW but it took awhile to figure out where NEW was. It was a long process of me learning to dream again, being open to CRAZY ideas, and developing a willingness to GO wherever He sent us. And it was a grand FAITH adventure. We pursued some crazy options in exotic places. In my mind all this dreaming meant God was going to take us somewhere NOBLE – give our family a great big adventure that was international, and cross cultural, far away, oh-so -missionary-like and big. (It had taken me a lot of hard work, counseling and surrendering to get to that point). And we felt ready. And I sang an old song from childhood, “Mold me and guide me, show me the way. You are the potter and I am the clay.”
But then God, the Potter, in his infinite wisdom, He asked us to STAY right here. He wanted to create something new IN US- HERE- in our same suburban town where we’ve spent the past 10 years. And though we love so much here and there was CRAZY provision for us to stay, (see the story hallways-and-doors) honestly, I DIDN’T LIKE His answer. I folded my arms and stamped my foot. I didn’t like it. I wanted to GO. The grass looked greener on the other side.
You see friends, I am a wee little bit stubborn (ask my husband!) I like to have things a certain way. Can you relate? I often picture myself as a two year-old, my arms folded and my nose stuck up into the air – my little foot a -stampin’. I often resist God’s plans for me and the changes He wants to make in me. Tell me you’ve been there?
Recently I read Romans 9:20 and like a little ‘time out’ my spirit was convicted….
“But who are you o man to talk back to God?
Shall what is formed say to him who formed it
”Why did you make me like this?”
Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for noble purposes and some for common use?”
Romans 9:20
I guess the potter gets to make the calls. He is God after all and we are merely clay. He knows what’s best. He sees the bigger picture.
Maybe this process was more about our hearts being WILLING to go than actually moving across the world.
Maybe it’s more about WHAT He is wanting to create in us than WHERE He places us.
This passage in the book of Jeremiah really hit home.
“I went down to the potter’s house and I saw him working at the wheel.
But the pot he was shaping was marred in his hands, so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him.
Then the word of the Lord came to me: O house of Israel {O _fill in your name here__}, can I not do with you as the potter does?’ declares the Lord.
‘Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand, O house of Israel. ”
Jeremiah 18:1-6
Maybe we’re the pot and we’re marred and He wants to form us into what seems best to him. And maybe that needs to take place right here.
And now- a year later I can see the richness of us staying. Hindsight is 20/20 right? God has developed a new sense of community in our neighborhood, my husband and I have new teaching jobs that we really love, our kids are thriving in their school, our church is experiencing new vision and purpose, and we’re seeing friends’ lives be transformed by Jesus. Life is still hard, though, certainly not without its challenges, and there are still days I doubt (like a dang Israelite).
But today I’m reminded that God has put us in our place, and you are in yours.
Whether HERE or THERE let’s trust that He’s the potter. He’s making something good.
Knowing He gets the final say, right here in the messiness of now, …maybe it’s still ok to dream. 🙂
What is the PLACE God has you in?
Where are you being asked to STAY?
What is God wanting to mold in your life?
Love, love LOVE this, Alyssa! Thanks for your vulnerability, your faithfulness & your honesty. What a breath of fresh air in a stale world. Eager to hear more of how God moves in the days to come in & through you and your beloved family <3
Wow does this hit home! The Lord recently has told me to stay because He has uniquely placed me. and I am struggling with it! Thank you friend for being honest about the struggle to control and the joy in relinquishing. 🙂
Thank you for this post! There are some ways I want to “jump ahead” with God’s vision for our family. He has been clear but He has also asked us to wait and I can be VERY impatient. My husband has even had to “talk me back to reality” and let me know that God is not asking it of us… yet. He is our family’s spiritual leader and I respect that but it doesnt mean I dont want to throw a temper tantrum! (Super thankful for the husband and His willingness to listen to God though) I needed to read those passages today ! Thank you!